On the impossibility of running a church

A nice older lady from the church asked me the other day, "I hope you felt appreciated as the parish administrator. You did such a good job." I thanked her and said I did. Many people did compliment me on the quality of the church's publications. Of course there were those who nagged and nudged, feeling the web site was never quite trendy enough, but I wouldn't say over all that it was lack of appreciation that caused me to leave. Rather, it was lack of authority.

Authority is a closely related sibling: because if people appreciated the fact that I alone had an overview of the church's operations on both the physical and spiritual levels, they would have LISTENED TO ME! And yes, they would have paid me more than a quarter of the Rector's salary (remuneration being yet another sibling --one kept in a closet--of appreciation). But this disparity in wages is indicative of the systemic view which ultimately will cause the organization to collapse.

It is currently imploding, as the Rector hired someone completely incompetent to replace me. It's gotten so bad, they have called in a consultant. I hope, if she is not getting paid a flat fee, but by the hour, that someone suggests she talk to me. It'll save her A LOT of time. But what can the hired help know?

My husband suggests that the Rector, and perhaps the community, actually prefer having someone incompetent in that position, because that justifies their sense of superiority and the way their values are shown through the budget. First, you get clergy who have been to prep school and elite colleges. Then you send them to seminary where they learn all kinds of interesting critical theories about religion and NOTHING about organizational management, thereby reinforcing the idea that such things are mere details and not worthy of the spiritual giants that all the ordained must be. Then you wonder why the structure is in chaos, the Rector is tearing out his hair and falling asleep in meetings. The solution is to respect (not just appreciate) those with the gifts of administration. Give them power and authority equivalent to that of the clergy (or merely a step below, not a grand canyon below). But classism seems to be so built in to the structure of the Episcopal Church that it is the comfy log they keep in their own eye that feels so much nicer when they worry about injustice somewhere across the seas.

Save some animals today

Clicking apparently donates money for animal rescue.

Today's ski report

Run, hide, go back to your cubbies... The fact that I am writing this ski report, from the lodge, is indication enough that conditions are abysmal! Not just wet, but wet and icy! One minute, your sinking into mush, the next you are skidding across the surface. One run was enough for me. Naturally, the husband is still out there, though even he admitted that Sunset should be closed and was death defying.

I'm dry now and putting some time into the novel. Someday it will get done. There's just so much exposition that awkardly needs to be inserted when your two main characters leap ahead in time five years.

Why does "utilize" exist?

Is there ever a situation in which the word "utilize" would express a nuance of meaning that could not be conveyed by "use?" If you know of such a case, please let me know. And if not, can you explain why the word "utilize" came to exist, if not merely for the purpose of giving people more useless syllables to say?