It occurs to me, this morning, that I chose very well when I picked St. Isidora of Tabenna to be my patron saint. I didn't know much about the various saints yet, and chose based on the fact that her feast day was close to the day (Holy Saturday, which was May 1 that year) I was chrismated (her day is May 10) and her name sounded good with my last name. Of course, being a fool for Christ was an appealing factor for me, as was the fact that she was holy but unrecognized in her monastery. Once she's outed, she goes off into the wilderness, something which always appealed to me as well. I felt her humility and desire for lack of recognition would be good for me, who seeks it so.
Now I am in the wilderness. I went to church once, the Feast of the Dormition, since it would be a small service, but my husband is so terrified of contagion that we had to try to distance from one another for the next two weeks. Those are finally ended, but it was terribly difficult and miserable. If I really was infected, we didn't even do it well enough for it to have kept him safe. Now the two weeks are past, but I know I can't put us through that again. Something shifted when I realized that I am in this wilderness for the long haul. St. Isidora, pray for me! You know what it is like to have others--your sisters, my friends and priest at church--think I am too weak to risk my life for church. I would gladly go if I lived alone.
