More applicability from Dr. Strange

Conversation from the Marvel Universe or a home where a person has converted to Orthodoxy?


Christine: are you in a cult now?
Dr. Strange: it's not a cult
Christine: that's what people in cults say.


This conundrum has ended many a conversation between Isidora and Mr. Crackles…

Isidora goes to the movies: Dr. Strange

If you ignore all the New Age theory that serves as a quick explanation for how people can wield powers that are really awesome in 3D because they keep turning cityscapes into something out of M.C. Escher drawings, the actual meaning of Dr. Strange is quite o(O)rthodox.

• Death is the enemy 
• But death is good for us: it teaches us that life is meaningful
• Time is a problem (related to death)
•  There is a being beyond time 
• (in this story, it's Evil but the thinking clears a path for that being as Good as per St. Augustine - see below)
• Evil beings want to trick us and use the promise of eternal life to do so

My understanding of God being beyond time has been enhanced by this recent article in First Things, which presents what Saint Augustine thought on the subject: 

So what was this eternal God doing before he made the world? On Augustine’s reading, there was no such “before.” There was no “then” then. Eternity is the dimension of God’s own life. It has no beginning and no end, no parameters or margins or boundaries outside of God himself.  On the other hand, time was willed and created by God as a reality distinct from himself. In his treatment of the world, Augustine again proves to be original in his thinking. He says not only that time and the world were created by God but that they were at once created together. They were co-created, so to speak, for time is coextensive with the world. This is how Augustine puts it: God created the world not in time but with time. What this means is that time is not some primordial container—an infinite bucket of moments—in which certain events happen. Time is not a receptacle; it is a relationship.

As for Dr. Strange's time loop solution to the problem of the Big Evil, don't try that at home.  

Science and fasting

I was wasting a little time and searching for topics within the scholarly database at one of the universities where I teach, and found some interesting information.

One study, conducted in 2007, found that

Conclusions: The periodic vegetarianism recommended by the Greek Orthodox Church contributes to the favourable profiles of several biomarkers of health among this sample of monks. The fasting rituals described are an important component of the traditional diet of Crete and should be emphasised in nutrition education programmes promoting this Mediterranean eating pattern.


Papadaki, A., Vardavas, C., Hatzis, C., & Kafatos, A. (2008). Calcium, nutrient and food intake of Greek Orthodox Christian monks during a fasting and non-fasting week. Public Health Nutrition, 11(10), 1022-1029.

 And

The Orthodox Christian diet is unique in regularly interchanging from an omnivore to a vegetarian-type diet, and no study to date has focused on the impact of this on Fe status….

Adherence to the Orthodox Christian dietary guidelines does not have a major impact on Fe status and is not associated with a significantly greater degree of Fe deficiency.

Sarri, K. O., Kafatos, A. G., &; Higgins, S. (2005). Is religious fasting related to iron status in Greek Orthodox Christians?. The British Journal Of Nutrition, 94(2), 198-203.


Sounds like the regimen is good for us. Not surprised.

Happy New Year

Forgive this newbie for my Church New Year greetings being a day late.

I had started reading The Year of Grace of the Lord this past  Lent, picking it up and reading it from that point. So I have just now come to its beginning and I wanted to share some of the monk's observations about the significance of the liturgical year. 

In addition to the cycle of feasts that bear directly on our Lord, the liturgical year includes the cycle of feasts of the saints. These two cycles, however, should not be thought of as two strands that run parallel to, or separate from, each other, for the saints are the glorified members of the body of Christ. Their sanctity is but an aspect, a shining ray of the holiness of Christ himself. To celebrate the feast of a saint is to celebrate a special grace that flows from Christ to that saint and so to us: it is to celebrate that aspect of our Lord which is specially evidenced by the saint, it is to enter (for our profit) into the relationship of prayer which unites that saint to Christ. It is still more. In the same way that the feasts of our Lord in a mysterious way renew the events of his life, so the feasts of the saints make their lives, their merits and their deaths mysteriously actual, in as much as they participate in the life, the merits and death of the Lord Jesus. ... The liturgical year has but one and the same object, Jesus Christ; whether we contemplate him directly, or whether we contemplate him through the members of his body.

Good stuff!

Art is revealing

Stepdaughter 1 had to have an emergency appendectomy the night before last, and the hospital nearest where she lives turns out to be St. Elizabeth's in Brighton. Upon walking in, we faced a large crucifix, and a priest was chatting with someone near the reception desk. I am appreciative of the unabashed reference to their faith, and wonder why there are no Orthodox hospitals. I grew up near a Catholic hospital, and used to sit by a little outdoor grotto shine they had near a stream, when I was cutting classes (it was across the street from my junior high). I didn't quite know what to make of the Virgin Mary then, but it was peaceful, and I was sad that it was no longer there, after an expansion. Yes, they did pave paradise and build a parking lot. 

I used to feel some attraction to RC depictions, and have a crucifix picked up in Tijuana, affixed to the birdbath. When I began my conversion to orthodoxy, I thought I'd miss the lack of statues we could put in our yards, but now I realize my perception has changed.

I didn't feel any connection when I looked at those statues in the hospital: they seemed remote, dead. The question I asked when I was 18 and just starting to believe in Jesus--but what does that man up there have to do with me?--was evoked. Orthodox icons seem so much more alive: they answer that question: I am here with you.

Questions and answers on orthodox fasting for someone who has tried it for three, count 'em three, weeks!

This post was actually composed quite some time ago: before my Chrismation, but I see I never published it. I decided to do so now.

Oh, and someone on the Glory2God blog mentioned The Communion of Love by Matthew the Poor and I discovered that someone has posted the PDF here: http://orthokairos.weebly.com/uploads/5/7/3/1/57311059/the_communion_of_love.pdf.  I plan to read the chapter on fasting! 

Post from probably last fall. 

Having read that "prayer and fasting" is a big part of the Orthodox life, Doc Bubbles always figured that made the whole deal a no-go for her. She may have once done Yom Kippur and been truly and  duly miserable. But it turns out that by fasting they don't actually mean going completely without food. They mean you don't eat certain foods. It's also called "Abstinence. (Gr. Nisteia). A penitential practice consisting of voluntary deprivation of certain foods for religious reasons. In the Orthodox Church, days of abstinence are observed on Wednesdays and Fridays, or during other specific periods, such as the Great Lent (see fasting)" http://www.goarch.org/ourfaith/ourfaith8049.  The "certain foods" are primarily all animal foods, so it's basically being vegan two days a week. Lots of people are vegan around here! So Doc Bubbles has started to try it.


Even though Mr. Crackles is happily chomping on leftover chicken, he is appalled: "I get it: it keeps you going through withdrawal." Hmmm. Actually, Doc Bubbles is surprised that she is not finding the practice all that hard.  Unlike Mr. Crackles, applying the recovery model, she did not lose 50 pounds by making a complete turnaround with her diet. She's always aimed at moderation. Dr. Furhman's "nutritarian" diet, which she had read about and thought made sense, though it seemed impossible. But two days a week: possible. Fasting for health isn't really wrong, since the Orthodox view of salvation seems to be deeply connected to the idea of healing: soul, mostly, but body too.  But the main reason for fasting, according to the OCA is not only to avoid certain foods, but also to avoid the control we allow food to have over us. If we can’t discipline ourselves in terms of what goes into our mouths, we will hardly be in a position to discipline ourselves with regard to what comes out of our mouths." Ah, yes, breaking addiction the old fashioned way… .

Another surprising aspect of this discipline is making Doc Bubbles feel connected to the Church, even when she is alone in her house, with her meat eating cat and husband ("you're going to get sick: not enough protein!"--he's eating twice as much to compensate!). But that will be another post: the Communion of the Saints….

I don't like pain

My stomach was in an uproar last Sunday, during Divine Liturgy. I had been taking various painkillers to try to deal with a problem that was originating in my shoulder and causing numbness in my thumb. (I'm now wearing a neck brace when I type!) I had taken an aspirin for a headache on Saturday night and, even though my stomach had not been empty at the time, the emptiness in the morning (okay, I confess, along with a caffeine pill) was causing searing pain throughout the service. I thought that once I ate I would be fine, but I wasn't. The pain continued throughout the week and I consulted WebMD and Mayo Clinic and realized I had an ulcer. I had some famotidine tables in my medicine cabinet, which happened to be what the sites said could bring healing to an ulcer. (So it should not be such a surprise to me, with my previous experiences with GERD, that I would get an ulcer.) All of this is probably TMI and not really the point. My reason for blogging about this is my realization that so much of my sense of joy in worship is connected to my feeling good in my body. This is why I have such a hard time understanding the saints who mistreat themselves so much: how did they manage? When I feel unwell, I don't feel much like praising. I will admit also I was afraid. What if it was cancer? This shows me how much more I need to pray to strengthen myself for the time that is sure to come when I am tested and I am not granted the great blessings I experience now, in my sense of God's presence.

But I am not giving up fasting! I am giving up painkillers. And taking up  drinking licorice tea with honey. That, along with the medicine, is helping, but I was too weak (and Mr. Crackles was too busy monitoring me) for me to try fasting this morning, so it was the first time since my Chrismation that I have been to the Divine Liturgy and not partaken of communion. I did feel a bit distanced... But fortunately, I was able to enjoy our end of summer picnic and we were blessed with lovely weather!

Let every tongue confess

It always feels a bit like Pentecost at my church, since it is made up of speakers of Russian and English. Father's first language is Russian and he gives the sermon in both languages (at different times during the service) and the prayers alternate between English and Church Slavonic. On Pascha, the acclamation "Christ is Risen" and response "Indeed He is Risen" was shouted in those languages and some others. At one point during that service, I was next to Nino, the woman whose husband (of five years) had also been chrismated. She was Georgian and turned to me smiling saying, "He said Christ is Risen in my language!" It gave her such joy to hear her native tongue included in the celebration. I felt joy that this truth rings out and through all languages. The multilingualism provides me with a strong sense of the universal truth of the Gospel. (I don't know why Mr. Crackles feels the opposite: hearing words he does not understand makes him feel excluded.)

Of course, after much repetition, I start to know some of the words. And I do try to learn them. Nino went over the pronunciation with of "Voistinu" a couple times, but it went out of my head, and when the song changes over from English to Slavonic I usually just mouth the words, though sometimes, at home, when I am doing something like taking a shower, I can hear the words and say them a bit. They are rolling around in there. 

At the end of each Liturgy, when parishioners come up to venerate the Cross, Father speaks to them in their language: "Happy Feast," or "Christ is Risen" for me, but on this Sunday he said it in Slavonic: "Hristos Voskrese!" I paused, digging in my mind and lo, it came out: "Voistinu voskrese!" He smiled broadly, very pleased: "You knew it!"

I know learning the language is not as important as learning the meanings of the words and Traditions, but I feel like they confirm each other and it is very exciting!

Another realization about the saints

So I've been praying the morning and evening prayers in the Jordanville prayer book and now I have added the prayers for before and after Communion. I really like doing the ones for after Communion on Monday to keep the memory fresh. It includes lots of prayers like this one: "Make me the temple of Thy Spirit alone, and no longer a habitation of sin: that having become Thy house by receiving Holy Communion, every evil spirit and passion may flee from me like fire." So I started thinking, shouldn't everyone who takes Communion regularly and prays these prayers be different from other people? Well, yes, we should, and in some cases, it did: the saints are proof. When we think of them we know that God does hear these prayers.

My Church has been given this multiplex icon that has forty changeable pages, so that it can show weekly numerous Saints. It seemed a little busy to me, but after I had this realization, I started to appreciate the sense it provides of the many witnesses.  

Intrinsic value

My yoga teacher's comments about all of us having intrinsic value are something I think all Orthodox would agree with. The term may be more useful than the "sanctity of life," which turns off all of those who don't have a sense of the holy, who are the people who create this culture of utility. This world we inhabit makes it very hard to believe we have any value apart from what we produce. Is that a function of capitalism? To a great extent, yes. The need to sell us something makes sellers point out our inadequacies, whether physical or that more ephemeral lack of "success." Orthodoxy also makes us aware of a lack: a lack of holiness, a failure to be the persons Christ intended us to be. The remedy is the Mysteries, received prayerfully. I am just starting to see how the prayers that seemed almost ridiculously self-abasing when I first began to read them are actually pointing us to God's great love for our unique selves, created to be shining saints.

Chrismation on Holy Saturday!

Reader, I married her (the Holy Orthodox Church). I've been planning to write that for what seems like years, and it is  hard to believe the formal process took a bit less than one year. I had to think those words to myself while I was kneeling down and receiving the chrismation because I could not believe it was happening. I felt numb, in a way. I knew I should break my addiction to coffee before this day.  I had been going to Divine Liturgy without food, but had not yet managed to go without coffee. So this was the first time of doing a complete fast before receiving Eucharist. (And I had cut my food intake quite a bit for Holy Week.) The service began at 8 a.m. and had numerous steps and phases: as I result, I felt a bit vague (though I was the one who knew when it was time to take our shoes off) and that we were basically taking a break between the first part, when we did the renunciations and  Manuel was baptized, and the second part, which would take place when the DL began at 9:30, when we would be chrismated. The baptism was quite a sight, seeing that big man dunk three times into this white barrel! He said the water was quite cold. 

Since Manuel was baptized, he needed to be churched, and I guess Father figured Joseph and I might as well be too. Of course he doesn't carry grown-ups! He led us from the back of the church to the various points. The big icon of the crucifixion had been moved to the center aisle in front of the ambo,  partially hiding the Royal Doors. Once behind it and facing the doors, Father directed me to cross myself. Then he took the guys to the right, to enter the altar through the Deacon's doors. I stood there and gave them a little wave. No one, except probably Xenia or others in the choir, saw that. Had he been reading this blog? Did he know I wouldn't flip out at this? Even with all my thinking about it, I did feel a bit awkward (so glad I was only partly visible beyond the Crucifix) and enjoyed the ironic humor of my little wave. I get it. I don't mind. But it's weird. Soon they had come around and we continued. Father said to me, "You will have Eucharist first" and so I did, first in the whole church. I didn't realize that the assistant wiped one's lips and that one kissed the bottom of the chalice but it all went smoothly and there I was: Isidora, having partaken of the Body and Blood I had so long desired. Discovering that the little cup people drink afterwards at the side table contains a mixture of hot water and wine (sweet). 

Having recognized the depth of my caffeine addiction, I did not fast completely after consuming the special blessed bread and wine that followed the Holy Saturday service. I had something more bread to eat, but more importantly, I drank coffee so that I was feeling more alive by the time I returned for the overnight Pascha service. Before I left, I told Mr. Crackles the service would probably consist of a lot of processing around and shouting He is Risen, and that I would see him in the morning. My description was accurate. It was fun and joyful! I was amazed at how much energy and joy Father had, after the long week of services and his strict fasting but he definitely seemed to be enjoying himself and conveyed the delight of discovery of Christ's Resurrection. 

I learned without surprise that there are many "twice a year" attendees, just as in other churches. Well, it is a little more surprising, since the service starts at 11:30 and cradle Orthodox must know it involves lots of standing. But that doesn't stop the two young ladies who were next to me to wear two-inch spike heels, which were off their feet (to my empathetic relief) after about the first hour. She did give me a look or two of "how long does this last?!" and I smiled sympathetically: you have to work up to this. Before offering the Eucharist, Father explained that it was only available for Orthodox who had prepared and I could see he did speak to a couple of the people who were not familiar to him before offering them the Chalice. This time I felt a little more conscious of what I was doing, receiving the Communion for which I had longed.

In the time between services, since I wasn't doing much, I put together my own funky version of a Pascha basket. I even made red hard boiled eggs! After the blessing of the baskets, and the joyful feasting (including drinking the champagne I had brought) I drove safely home, and snuck quietly into bed. It wasn't quite light yet, but I was surprised that my entry had not elicited any sound or movement from Mr. Crackles, and tentatively I moved my hand over to his side. He wasn't there. His car and motorcycle were present, so I knew he was somewhere. Oh well. I slept. In the morning, I tapped gently on the door to the step-daughter's room, which was closed, so I knew he had gone there to sleep. He was furious. He couldn't sleep in our bed, waiting for me, so had gone in there. I was surprised at the intensity of his reaction, since the routine was pretty much the same as Nativity, and he hadn't been upset then. Three things were different. Then, he had his own Christmas service to go to earlier. Emily had been visiting so he wasn't alone in the house. And three, I hadn't yet been chrismated. Though I had kept the event pretty low-key, he did know it was happening, and it made a difference. Perhaps that is testimony to the sacrament. It did effect a change.

Since Mr. Crackles was so upset, I didn't even consider going to the Agape Service at noon on Sunday, which was followed by a feast at Joseph's house, nor to the 9:30 liturgy on Bright Monday. I figured damage control was more important. I made a roast chicken at home, and, as I had a week of being able to cook and eat whatever, he gradually came out of his funk and we returned to our usual détente. He also returned to singing in the choir at the Methodist Church. 

So happy!

This makes me so happy!

His Holiness Patriarch Kirill meets with President Rivlin of the state of Israel.


And confirms that I was right to leave liberal Protestantism , with its growing anti-Israel bias, which is a reflection of their desire to cut themselves off from the root of Christianity. Silly branches.

The exile explained

Yes, reader(s?), I am still on my Orthodox path... just not blogging much.

Today I listened to Father Barnabas Powell's podcast and was struck by his explanation of the Fall of Adam and Eve and God's reaction. Keeping humans away from the Tree of Life after eating of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was not just because He didn't want the competition of more immortal beings running around (though I guess he did have His hands full with the Angelic Upstairs/Downstairs activities), but because if we had that next piece of fruit, we would be stuck with our knowledge of our sin and no way back to God. The fallen angels cannot repent, and we would not be able to if we were immortal. Our mortality is a mercy.   

Orthodox footnotes

With Morning Prayers I decided to read today's assigned reading from Ephesians (1:16-23) in The Orthodox Study Bible that I am getting acquainted  with. I started at the beginning of the chapter for context and the footnotes helped me to understand how to read this passage Orthodoxly instead of Calvinistically. It's so much more of a hopeful perspective and makes so much more sense. It's not that the Crucifixion was the foundation/purpose of creation, (which would make God a pretty grim figure) but the purpose was making His Creation one with him and holy. Due to our fall, the Crucifixion had to happen, and of course God had to know that, but it was not the first intent; rather, it was  something He allowed, as He allows free will and all its troubles.

It does seem like the footnotes "protesteth" a bit too much against Protestantism, but I suppose they know their audience. For instance, in the footnotes for 1:4-6, they write "Becoming a Christian is not so much inviting Christ into one's life as getting oneself into Christ's life." I know they are talking about the Evangelicals who believe that all they have to do is pray that one prayer and they are "saved" and that is a very insufficient view of salvation. But we do invite Christ into our life. It's in the Orthodox prayers too, everyday we pray "Holy King, Comforter… come and abide in us and cleanse us of every impurity and save us." That is essentially what the Evangelicals pray when they first acknowledge Jesus. And it is oversimplifying their view to say that's all there is to it for them, then they go on with their lives as before. Most of them do change and spend time praying and seeking God's guidance. But for them that is much more of an "extra credit" assignment rather than the essence of salvation, which the Orthodox understand it as being. So it is really a both/and experience. We have to invite Christ in, but that inviting, that opening up, is ongoing and is wheat gets us "into Christ's life." I think.

Where are my clothes?

Last night I had what I thought was a typical where-are-my-clothes-dream.  Won't go into the details, but it involved a river, and what I did have on was white.

Then this morning I read a sermon about the Baptism of Christ and saw the connection. If I had to be baptized in the Orthodox Church I would be clothed in white. And in the old days people were baptized naked and even now, X said, they would wear bathing suits (as I did in the Nazarene Church and am so glad that dimly remembered and partly verified baptism is good enough for Father). So this is not just a typical where-are-my-clothes-dream but rather a dream about my entering into this deeper, cleansing relationship with Christ. Perhaps all our where-are-my-clothes-dreams are re-enactments of Adam and Eve "sneaking around naked in the garden like Adam" and Eve, as Father Philip writes, when we could instead repent and "wear the garment of light that He has given us, […] and embrace the glory of our salvation personally and intentionally." Amen.

Why so much repenting?

I had thought this post on Dreher's blog was too convoluted to read (http://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/nominalist-church-ross-douthat-year-zero/ ) but since it was what was open on my laptop this morning, I read it. This morning, the commentary makes a great deal of sense and helps me better understand why Dreher loved Laurus, the novel which I read on his recommendation, and enjoyed, but did not share his sense of awe about. (It just seemed to me like a novelized version of the stories of so many of the saints I read about every day. Nice but why so earth shattering?) The concept of sacramental time, a term he borrows from an Evangelical theologian,( but isn't it really what Kairos means(?)) explains a great deal. Dreher is, as always, using it to explain what is wrong with the liberal, progressive wings of Christianity, but I don't even care about that. I have chosen Orthodoxy. Or rather, Orthodoxy has chosen me. And I can eagerly accept the Communion of Saints—by which I think we mean the continuing presence of those who have died in the flesh—and I wonder—those who are not yet born? Thanks to Doxacon (Orthodox Science Fiction convention), I know I am not alone in viewing the time travel of adventures of Dr. Who as explaining in some way the "wibbly wobbly timey wimey" effect of Christ's crucifixion.

This is important in helping me think about the big whole life confession I will be making when I am chrismated into the Orthodox communion.  Didn't I already repent of all the things I did before my first conversion at age 18? Don't I believe that Jesus has already wiped all those things out, cleaned the slate? And then I did a formal, Episcopal Church confession once to Father Burt, so really, why dredge up the past again? The Evangelicals loved to retell their "testimonies," recounting how bad they were before they repented and I found that got old fast. Why weren't we focusing at least half the time on our current struggle for sanctification (which is what the Wesleyan Nazarenes believe can be achieved and which, I have to admit, is a belief that is much closer to Orthodoxy than I had expected (or wanted, since I had decided perfect sanctification was an unrealistic goal that sets us up for despair)?  

I get that salvation is a journey and not a one-time event, though I worry that can devolve into a Calvinistic fear of "am I elect to be saved"? But this is wrong, according to blogger, Eric Hyde, "repentance does not carry the stigmatism [sic] of dwelling in nagging despair over one’s eternal resting place—the feeling that at any moment one can “lose his salvation”—but [repentance] is rather the power to maintain the gift of God’s grace; as St. Cyril of Jerusalem (cir. 380 AD) said, “It is for God to grant His grace, your task is to accept that grace and to guard it.” https://ehyde.wordpress.com/2014/01/21/orthodoxy-and-repentance/ .  But more important still is the concept of Kairos time.  T.S. Eliot worried unduly (or un-Orthodoxly) when he wrote "If all time is eternally present / all time is unredeemable" (Burnt Norton). I think it is just the opposite. All time is eternally present and all events in chronos time are being transformed into something new and Holy in Kairos time continually through continual repentance! That's it: I get it! 

Thoughts on Theophany

It's time to get real, and abandon the third person point of view.

Theophany, the Baptism of Christ, is one of the 12 major feasts in Orthodoxy. In the Episcopal Church, I recall, the Baptism is celebrated on the Sunday after Christmas (or perhaps after Epiphany… which like Theophany is on January 6, but which focuses on the arrival of the Magi.) I'm curious where the interpretations of what should be celebrated on the 6th diverged, though they do agree on the sense of a new understanding of God shining out into the world beyond the boundaries of Israel and the chosen people. In any case, I went to Church twice on the day of the Eve of the Theophany. I don't recall the details of the explanation of why we celebrate the blessing of the water also on the morning of the eve, and on the morning of the day, but we do. All told, I spent about 5 hours in Church on Tuesday and 4 hours driving back and forth (mostly with my friend X, which adds time to the journey but makes it more enjoyable) so I have broken a new record for worship.

As the communicants were receiving in the morning, I prayed that God would help me to feel His love, and suddenly my eyes were stung with tears. I do not know exactly what happened, but it seemed like a sign, affirming my longing for God's love.

I hadn't been sure that I, a lowly catechumen, would be able to partake of the holy water, which parishioners were told they can take home in containers that they bring, but Father made it clear before the service ended, that the blessing Christ bestowed on the universe through his baptism is for everyone. And even, in the Soviet days, people used to sneak a bit of holy water into the food and drink of the unbelievers. (And we know how Russia has returned to the faith now! So this stuff works!--my comment, not his).  So during the time of the final veneration of the icon and the cross, Father blesses--splashes!-- us in our faces and it is funny and joyful. People brought all kinds of jars and water bottles. I got to fill my jar with the holy water. And, exhausted and needed to get some work done, did not return to church on the actual day of the feast. Oh, whoever would have thought I wished I lived in Murderburg.